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<title>John Mulaney Voice: “We’re WELL Past That” by Angst -Apparently (TheFangirlAndTheAngst)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28315653">John Mulaney Voice: “We’re WELL Past That”</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFangirlAndTheAngst/pseuds/Angst%20-Apparently'>Angst -Apparently (TheFangirlAndTheAngst)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Chrysler Gifts 2020!!!! [13]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Daichi Voice: "Everyday I fear for my life", Feral Sugawara Koushi, Gen, Long-Suffering Sawamura Daichi, Surprise Party, Team Bonding, Team Mom Sugawara Koushi, Ukai's like a proud dad and I'll die on that hill</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:14:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,307</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28315653</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFangirlAndTheAngst/pseuds/Angst%20-Apparently</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Suga and Daichi are the third year captains of the Karasuno volleyball team, but that doesn’t make they are, really, incredibly obviously still teenagers. </p><p>Exhibit A: Suga and Daichi try to throw a birthday party.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Karasuno Volleyball Club &amp; Karasuno Volleyball Club, Sawamura Daichi &amp; Sugawara Koushi, Ukai Keishin &amp; Karasuno Volleyball Club</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Chrysler Gifts 2020!!!! [13]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2047535</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>53</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>John Mulaney Voice: “We’re WELL Past That”</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vexfulfolly/gifts">Vexfulfolly</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>HJSGFJSHDGFJDSH OKAY!!!!! This is the last of the Christmas fics, since I'm doing 'em in alphabetical order, but also!!!!!! It's Very Cool that I can do this one last because!!!!!! It's better than a Christmas fic- it's a BIRTHDAY FIC!!!!!!!!!! Vex, dude, you're one of the Absolute Coolest people I know hands-down, and I hope you've had The Most Awesome bday!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you SO much for the Daichi &amp; Suga dialogue prompt you gave me, 'cause I had A Lot of fun with this one!!!!!!!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s surprisingly warm for a mid-Spring morning, Daichi thinks. Even through the seasons’ past, and beneath the newly melted snow, there are still leaves scattered across the ground from last year’s Autumn, an amber-rose even when dampened by the pavement beneath. The sun is cast only on horizon skies as Daichi arrives, as he always does, just a few minutes before practice officially starts- around five- he’d normally walk with Suga, but he was apparently engaged with something or other and had said he’d catch up.</p><p>Of course, Kageyama and Hinata were already there with almost everything set up, far too energetic for six thirty AM (even considering Daichi as a morning-person), and yelling loudly every time they hit a spike. He waves as he enters, significantly less enthused as they always seem to be, utterly and irrevocably obsessed with volleyball as they are. They wave back quickly in the in-between of a toss before immediately falling back into their rhythm.</p><p>Shaking his head, Daichi goes to put his water bottle down on the bench, and begins his warm-up stretches. That takes him somewhere between two minutes, and once they’re completed, he goes about rolling in a second cart of volleyballs as he watches the rest of the team trickle into the gym. Tanaka and Nishinoya come barrelling in first, Ennoshita rolling his eyes with a smile as he walks in behind them. Asahi, Yamaguchi, Tsukishima- every files in, but there’s sign no sign of Suga (no Takeda-Sensei or coach Ukai, either, but they can’t usually make it to Monday morning practice, so it’s fine). Daichi bites his lip between his teeth for a moment, more than a little worried. He’s <em>always </em>on time, he’s been more insistent on his own punctuality than ever this year, and Daichi has no idea what could be holding him up.</p><p>Until, of course, he comes in like a human wrecking ball.</p><p>“So,” Suga says in lieu of a greeting, bursting down the door of the gym exactly three minutes and eleven seconds later than he usually does (not that Daichi was counting). “It’s coach Ukai’s birthday in two days.”</p><p>Daichi replies, if a little slower. “And what are we supposed to do about it?”</p><p>Suga shoots him a look, and Daichi raises his hands compliantly, thoroughly cowed by the expression on his face even thought he has no idea what he did wrong. <em>“So,</em> we’re going to throw him a surprise birthday party.”</p><p>“We’re gonna throw a <em>party?!”</em> Tanaka repeats, looking completely elated at the news. Which is fair enough, honestly, seeing as it’s probably the most eventful thing that’s happened all week. Asahi, however, blanches- opening his mouth to protest.</p><p>“Suga, you can’t be serious-”</p><p>Suga glares forcefully. Asahi shrinks back, because he may be a few heads taller than every here, but Suga’s an absolute force of nature to reckon with when he’s in the right mood for it. And right now, he <em>definitely</em> is (that, and Asahi is infamously cowardly). “Of course I’m serious! He’s our coach! Ukai’s had to put up with us for almost the entire school year, he deserves a <em>Nobel Prize- </em>the <em>least </em>we can do is celebrate his birthday with him!” Asahi looks terrified, though still partially unconvinced of that they’re competent enough to pull this off, and while Daichi does have his own reservations in that regard, everyone else is already agreeing quite profusely, so he’s really not got much of a choice in the matter.</p><p>“Alright, alright, we’ll throw coach Ukai a surprise party,” Daichi signs, resigned to his fate. He’d be risking a mutiny to refuse, after all, and he’d rather Karasuno’s volleyball club not become a political warzone. A cheer goes up in response from the first and second years, and he glares slightly to quieten them. <em>“But, </em>that doesn’t mean we’re going to mess around for the hour. Right now: practice. Three laps around the gym, let’s go.”</p><p>That elicits one or two groans, but Hinata, Kageyama and Nishinoya jump up the moment the words are out of his mouth, sprinting like they’re running for their lives. Daichi shakes his head, but doesn’t complain. He comforts himself with the thought that, at the very least, they still listen to him.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, planning time!” Tanaka shouts as soon as practice is over and they’re all moving towards the locker room, clapping his hands to draw their attention. Ennoshita mumbles something under his breath, but otherwise there’s no complaints as a hush falls over the room, everyone waiting for someone else to speak up.</p><p>“We should split into groups for each thing to make stuff easier!” Hinata suggests eagerly, effectively breaking the silence and drawing the room’s gaze.</p><p>Tsukishima snickers. “Wow, did you really say something somewhat intelligent? Did that take you all practice to think up?”</p><p>
  <em>“Hey-!”</em>
</p><p>Daichi opts to defuse the situation before it can devolve into petty squabbling. “Good idea, Hinata,” He says placatingly, a smooth interruption. “Let’s think of what needs doing. Uh, decorations?”</p><p>“Oh, oh! Me and Tanaka’ll do that! I’m sure Yachi and Kiyoko-Senpai’ll help when we tell them, too!” Nishinoya offers. Tanaka is more than happy to agree, especially with Kiyoko brought into the mix. Neither of their tones brook for any argument, so Daichi nods and moves on.</p><p>“Right. Okay, what else? Music?” Immediately, because they’re pretty sure his headphones are a permanent fixture on his person outside of practice, everyone looks to Tsukishima. He sends them all a withering scowl, but relents after a beat.</p><p>“I might have a playlist for this…” He concedes hesitantly, and because Tsukishima and Yamaguchi are basically halves of the same freakishly tall person, that means he’s been designated to music as well. He prays that they actually have an appropriate music taste between them.</p><p>He takes a moment to think about the list of other things that a party usually entails, before Suga chooses then to chime in. “Asahi and I’ll bake the cake, unless anyone else wants to.”</p><p>Daichi nods decisively- he’s made cupcakes with him a few times before, and Suga’s food is <em>amazing.</em> Plus Asahi’s probably the lord high god of stress-baking (amongst other stress-related activities, because Asahi has <em>more</em> than enough to go around), so as long as Suga doesn’t get too gung-ho that should be great. “Perfect. That leaves- Ennoshita, are you okay with bringing the snacks, then?” Ennoshita agrees easily, and it seems like everything is pretty much settled until a voice speaks up again.</p><p>“What should me and Kageyama do?” Hinata asks.</p><p>Oh, ah. That’s an issue. They’ve got more than enough people on decorating, so that’s a no. Tsukishima definitely wouldn’t appreciate having to unwillingly deal with Kageyama and Hinata at all outside of practice, so that’s a moot-point too. Maybe they can help Ennoshita with the snack run? But that just makes it seems like he’s shirking them off… “I’ve got it,” Daichi declares, snapping his fingers together once the thought strikes him. “You two are in charge of picking out Ukai’s presents. We’re counting on you to find the best you can.”</p><p>Hinata looks ecstatic, grabbing Kageyama’s wrist with one hand and saluting with the other. “Yes captain!” He exclaims, before tugging the setter away, both of them running off to who-knows-where.</p><p>“Are you sure it’s a good idea to leave them to that?” Tsukishima asks haltingly. “The gift’s the most important part.”</p><p>“It’ll be fine.” Daichi says resolutely, with all the confidence of a man who’s desperately trying to pretend that he knows what he’s doing.</p><p>-</p><p>It’s kind of hard to make sure the whole things stays a surprise. Most of their real planning is confined to hushed locker room conversations and break-time meetings that probably look really sketchy from an outside perspective. They all exchanged phone numbers early on in the year, so it’s easy enough to send progress reports outside of school- that is, in regards to people who actually respond to their texts <em>(for a guy who spends most of his time glued to his phone, Tsukishima sure does like to leave people on read a lot)</em>. From what Daichi’s garnered from the times Yamaguchi <em>does</em> offer up explanations for them, it seems like the music side of things is going okay so far, which is certainly a relief.</p><p>Daichi took it upon himself to tell Kiyoko and Yachi about their plans, who had coincidentally both been busy on the initial day of decision making. They were quickly added to the group chat upon agreeing, but instead of responding to them through the device, Tanaka and Nishinoya had ran their way across the school to reply, dragging the two girls away in the direction of what Daichi was pretty sure was the art room.</p><p>Asahi and Suga had already decided on what kind of cake to bake, and had resolved to make it after school on the day before the party, though they were going out after practice today to make sure they have all the ingredients they’ll need. In a similar vein, Ennoshita has started cultivating a list of snacks to buy as well as the quantity to get, and he took the initiative of ensuring he wouldn’t buy anything that would go down badly by asking around the team for any dietary restrictions, to which there were none.</p><p>Now, the only ones Daichi was kind of worried about were Kageyama and Hinata, who hadn’t said a word to anyone about what they were planning to buy. That was… a little disconcerting, but if it was really a problem, Suga would have said something to them by now. Suga <em>was</em> the one heading the whole operation, after all, even if Daichi was the one… delegating and supervising.</p><p>Yeah, that.</p><p>…Oh boy.</p><p>-</p><p>All too soon, the day of reckoning arrives, a perfectly pleasant Wednesday morning on April the fifth.</p><p>They arrived to school a good hour earlier than they ought to, but not early enough that they had to break in or anything, which was nice. Noya and Tanaka had practically dragged him to the art room to come and look at the banner they’d made, which was <em>incredibly</em> brightly coloured- though mostly orange and black- with the words <em>‘Happy Birthday Coach!’</em> written in large, stark font. Little cartoon crows were drawn all around it (they even had the team’s hairstyles, which was an admittedly endearing detail), and Daichi has to say that it really does look good.</p><p>By the time he got back to the gym, things were actually going great. Kiyoko and Yachi are hanging streamers over the second floor stands, Ennoshita and Asahi are setting up tables with bags-for-life (because Ennoshita is exactly the kind of guy who owns a bag-for-life) full of snacks that they’ll put onto the table soon. Yamaguchi and Tsukishima are setting up speakers, Hinata and Kageyama are doing… something, he thinks, and Suga is just walking in with the cake. It’s almost like things are going <em>smoothly</em> for once. Working as a unit, just like a good team should.</p><p>Which is of course when everything goes completely wrong.</p><p>It starts with Tanaka and Nishinoya running in with the banner. Part of the material is dragging across the floor, and unfortunately Ennoshita isn’t paying attention to where he’s setting down the table.</p><p>Daichi sees it happen in slow-motion. The banner get stuck on the table, but the force of Tanaka and Nishinoya’s sheer stampeding will sends the table flying forward instead, which means it ends up slamming right into Ennoshita. Asahi lets out a shrill scream as Ennoshita hits the floor, table landing almost on top of him but thankfully not crushing him.</p><p>Most of the team present are beginning to panic, and Suga, with the voice of someone trying to be the optimist while also resisting the urge to scream, attempts to calm the situation. “Everyone, cool it!” He calls, setting down the cake on one of the table that hadn’t been taken down as collateral damage. “Ennoshita, are you alright?”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry about it,” He grins reassuringly, though he sounds kind of winded. The collision must have knocked the breath out of him or something. “Just got my leg a bit. Feels like it’ll bruise, but it’s nothing to freak out on. I’m good.” The smile he sends Tanaka and Nishinoya seems to soothe any traces of guilt, so Suga stands up again.</p><p>“Alright, then! We’re still good to go!” Is all he says, before Ennoshita tries to stand up and promptly falls back onto the floor, wincing. Oh, that’s not good. The room starts to freak again, and Suga’s own nerves are clearly beginning to get the best of him. “Okay, okay! Everyone shut up for a second! Ennoshita, are you <em>sure</em> that’s just a bruise?!”</p><p>Ennoshita leans over, before catching on the actual spot of the injury. “Ah, yikes- I mean! It just surprised me, is all- I mean it, I’m alright. I, uh, might need some disinfectant, though. I think I must’ve just caught it on one of the sharp parts of the table.”</p><p>Oh, for God’s sake, why don’t they keep first-aid kits in this gym? <em>“Asahi!”</em> Suga shouts, sounding fully authoritative. Asahi jumps but doesn’t say anything. “Go and grab one of the first-aid kits from gym seven- that’s the closest one!”</p><p>Asahi starts running to and out the door without another world. Just as they’re about to breathe a sigh of relief, however, Asahi darts back in.</p><p>“Shit, guys!” Asahi cries. “I could see Ukai coming through the gate with Takeda in the distance! They’re gonna be here soon if we don’t do something!”</p><p><em>“Well then distract them!”</em> Suga practically shrieks. “I don’t care how!”</p><p>Noya bounds over from where Kiyoko had been helping him and Tanaka put up the banner. “Let’s tell him the basketball kids’re planning on robbing his store!” He crows with a wicked grin. He grabs Asahi’s hand and pulls him out the door with a strength no five foot two seventeen year old should be allowed to have.</p><p>“Okay, deep breaths everyone.” Daichi sighs, backing up a little to give everyone some space.</p><p>Well, that had been the <em>intention, </em>at least. Instead, Tsukishima just so happens to be carrying a speaker across the hall behind him, and he bumps into him without noticing. That’s nothing particularly bad on its own- nothing an apology can’t fix- however, what happens instead of <em>that</em> is that the table with the cake on it is right behind Tsukishima and-</p><p>The cake lands face down. Daichi genuinely thinks he just saw his life flash before his eyes.</p><p>Suga turns. Slowly, slowly, almost shaking with barely repressed frustration. Daichi stares into Death’s unforgiving eyes, and has the gall to smile, tone sheepish. “…Whoops?”</p><p>Yeah, Daichi can’t really blame him for exploding.</p><p>“Whoops?!” Suga shouts. <em>“Whoops?! </em>This is not a ‘<em>whoops’</em> kind of situation. We are <em>far past</em> whoops. Whoops is a distant spec in the rear view mirror- we are solidly in <em>‘oh </em>fuck’ territory and I expect you to <em>act like it!”</em> A deep breath, eyes closing- Daichi can almost hear him counting to ten- before- <em>“Hinata!”</em></p><p>Hinata jumps up, back straight and arms poised in salute. “Yes, Sugawara-Senpai?!”</p><p>“You’re going to dead-sprint to the nearest supermarket, buy the first damn cake you see, buy it, and get the Hell back here <em>ASAP-</em> can you do that?” He sounds like a commanding officer in the military or something. Daichi would be impressed if he weren’t so terrified.</p><p>There’s only a hurried nod of the head before Hinata is tearing out of gym and down the path. His silhouette is only there for about four seconds before he’s completely gone from sight. Suga’s harsh, rattling sigh seems to shake his entire body.</p><p>“RIGHT!” He shouts, commanding the whole room’s attention, as if he didn’t already have it before. “We’re all going to calm the <em>fuck</em> down, fix the mess, and make this the best damn party Ukai’s ever had, or so help me <em>God</em> you’ll be doing laps until we <em>all</em> drop.”</p><p>…</p><p>Coach Ukai comes in twenty minutes later, to a gym with the lights switched off. Even while he’s still opening the door and letting Takeda, Noya and Asahi walk in first, he’s muttering scathingly under his breath.</p><p>“Honestly, the <em>nerve</em> of that basketball team. Who the Hell let them get that cocky, huh? They think group shoplifting’s some damn sport now too-?”</p><p>
  <strong><em>“SURPRISE!”</em> </strong>
</p><p>Ukai jumps back as the lights are flicked on. Everyone has their arms in the air, Hinata, Tanaka, Suga, and Kageyama have party hats on, and there’s a <em>huge</em> banner above them. The whole place is decorated head to toe, and he can’t help the startled laugh that escapes him without his consent.</p><p>“Happy birthday, coach!” Suga beams, smiling with all his teeth.</p><p>He looks around, just to take it in again, as if he really can’t believe this is happening. Daichi <em>sincerely </em>hopes it’s in the good way, because that threat Suga made earlier sounded an awful lot like a promise. “You guys really did all this for me?”</p><p>“Of course!” Yamaguchi exclaims, holding one of those party tweeters and grinning. “You’ve gotten us so far as a team, it’s really the least we could do!”</p><p>Noya jumps up and sticks a party hat right on the man’s head. It’s one of the rare times they’ve really heard their coach laugh like that, with his whole body right up to his eyes. They could definitely get used to seeing their coach this happy.</p><p> </p><p>Thirty minutes in and half way through, Suga and Daichi are talking animatedly.</p><p>“You know, after all of that, this really is going well,” Daichi says warmly, watching as Ukai and Takeda are talking next to the chocolate caterpillar cake <em>(Hinata really did just by the first one he saw, huh)</em>. “We haven’t even gotten to the gifts yet.”</p><p>The moment the words are out of his mouth, he wants to pull them from the air and shove them back into his mouth to hide them from the way Suga’s blood seems to run cold. Daichi freezes. Tsukishima and Ennoshita- who were the only ones in the nearest two metre vicinity- also freeze.</p><p>“What.” Suga says, tone as blank as his expression and it’s probably going to give Daichi nightmares.</p><p>But, just before Daichi has to try and figure out what his last words should be, Hinata and Kageyama are approaching Ukai with a wrapped item in hand, and Daichi thanks gods he’s never even <em>heard</em> of before for the saving graces that are Karasuno’s freak-quick duo.</p><p>Ukai looks surprised as he takes the gift into his hands carefully, like it’ll shatter and disappear if he’s not so gentle. “You really didn’t have to do this-”</p><p>“C’mon, coach!” Hinata says, smile like the sun in a polished-wood room. <em>“Open it! Open it!” </em></p><p>That starts up a chant that doesn’t cease until Ukai’s laughing and warily tearing the wrapping paper, prising it apart to see what they thought to get him. He finds two things. One is probably the <em>softest</em> looking sweater he's ever seen in his life, and the other is a mug.</p><p>The sweater is mostly black, however, it’s adorned in the orange silhouettes of crows, and on the space where a pocket might’ve been, Daichi swear he can see the kanji for <em>‘Fly high’</em> written in the same blazing tangerine. The mug is pretty plain, he thinks, but if he squints, he’s pretty sure he can make out what it say.</p><p> </p><p>It reads <em>‘World’s Best Coach!!!’</em> In white on black font, and Ukai looks at it like it’s worth more than his entire store.</p><p> </p><p>Suga doesn’t make them run laps, after that. And, really, that’s probably the best news he’s had all day.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>AND THAT'S IT!!!!!!! I'M DONE!!!!!!! I'm gonna be honest I haven't slept in roughly 30+ hours and if I go to bed tonight I may or may not sleep WELL into tomorrow afternoon BUT!!!!!!! I have the time to do that now so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hell yeah!!!!!!</p><p>Hhsdfgsjhg I really hope you enjoyed Vex dude!!!!!!! You're absolutely amazing and you deserve the best story I could give you!!!!!!!!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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